Animal Kingdom Confusion
Sometimes dog grooming goes right, other times it can go horribly wrong. What begins with a creative idea quickly goes beyond a bad fur day with a terrible cut and style or a bizzare dye job. Sometimes it's a wreck of all three.
Take these two pups for example. The reason they're looking at each other like that is because they can't quite figure out what the heck has happened to them. Are they dogs or jungle cats? Talk about an identity crisis.
Maybe you like your Shih Tzu to have soft, flowing curls like the glamorous women you see in magazines. Perhaps though, you should consider getting a wig or a long-haired doll to practice your mad hairdressing skills on instead. This is not a happy or comfortable dog right here.
Horrible Dye Job, This Is
Star Wars is more popular than ever, but fandom can go too far. This poor pooch clearly wishes he could use the force to bust out of his somewhat frightening Yoda dye job.
Is There a Dog in There?
Occasionally dog grooming goes so very wrong that the dog himself becomes unrecognizable. This is a perfect example. The masked, multicolored presentation is overwhelming at first, but eventually you can see that there are some actual dog features in there. What he's supposed to resemble is anyone's guess.
The Rare, Colorful Panda Dog
It's well-known that pandas are becoming more scarce these days. Fortunately there's a new species of panda making appearances at dog shows nationwide. The colorful panda dog is a cross between a panda bear, a dog, and the entire lineup of My Little Pony characters.
Give Leash a Chance
It's a little known fact that dogs are really hippies at heart. If they could only express themselves through grooming, they'd sport tie-dyed coats like this one all the time. And if they had longer toes they'd be flashing peace signs at everyone, man.
Those pieces of paper towel with elastics holding them in place might look like they're innocently helping to keep this dog's curls fresh until show time. In reality, if you open up each one, you'll find notes saying, "Help me!" and "If you show this photo at the dog park there will be consequences."
This dog's name is Spencer. Spencer's tongue tells us that he understands that his faux-hawk and jaunty neck garb are even more humiliating than that time he fell asleep with his face in his food dish and woke up with dried Alpo all over his muzzle.
Just a Little Off the Sides
Everyone gets a bad haircut now and then. This groomer seems to be taking out her frustrations on this poor Yorkshire Terrier though. He asked for a little off the sides, but what he's getting is more of a Yul Brenner special.
There are a few reasons that this poodle could have turned out looking this way:
- The kids went way overboard with the permanent pink markers.
- She wanted to dress up as cotton candy for Halloween.
- Her owners thought it would be cute.
However, none of these reasons are good enough to justify the end result.
I Pity the Fool
Fifi's owners couldn't decide whether to go with a grooming theme of the Disney Princesses or Mr. T. They decided to compromise and this was the result. Poor Fifi.
When Highlights Go Terribly Wrong
If these rainbow 'highlights' continue through the rest of my body, it's going to cost you a great deal in dog treats."
Pastels Are In This Year
As if the explosion of rainbow pastels weren't enough, Fluffy here also has to endure the addition of a strange petal-inspired collar. This is the canine version of a fashion disaster.
A jewelled choker, close-cropped coat, and a glamorous hairdo that almost looks like a wig gives this chihuahua a nearly human appearance. Oddly, she looks like she could be the canine companion of the Trump family.
Snowball was all ready for the dog show, until she stepped outside. Humidity frizz got her every time.
Here's the lesser-known member of the punk group The Ramones, Barky Ramone. He was responsible for the scratchy vinyl effects on some of their earlier recordings. He left the band in 1989 when Pet Sematary became a hit. He just wasn't comfortable with the lyrics.
Bow Wow Wow
This dog's groomer thought that a kicky blue bow would distract attention away from the fact that her fur-trimmer slipped and resulted in an almost full-body crew cut. She was wrong.
Doesn't this poodle look like he'd give anything for the photographer to drop the camera and smuggle him out of the dog show? He's dreaming of rolling in grass and mud, but instead has to settle for pigtails, a poofy haircut, and a pedicure.
The Struggle Is Real
Horrifying dog grooming can take a real toll on dogs. Why, just last week, Rover here was frolicking at the dog park with his friends, taking pride in his average white poodle-ness, and having the time of his life. Then came the green and purple dye nightmare. Now he won't even get up off the couch.
You can prevent this by learning how to properly groom a poodle, and staying away from the dyes.