Dying Dog Behavior

When your best pet friend exhibits dying dog behavior, it is time to look at your behavior as well as you begin to help your dog make the final transition. This is not going to be an easy time, but with a little preparation, you can make it a graceful and grace-filled exit for both you and your animal.

While there are many self help books and resources for teaching us how to live, there are still relatively few to teach us to help our friends and our family to die. Most resources deal with grief after the fact without actually aiding us with our own feelings as well as those of the person, or in this case our animal's behavior, during the process.

The first thing to know is that, although many of us regard our dog on some level as our child as well as our friend, dogs and most all animals are infinitely wiser than us when it comes to recognizing and accepting impending death.

Dying dog behavior includes the following signs:

• Increased fatigue – More time spent sleeping
• Loss of appetite – Your dog may show awareness of food and water, and may even lick it when you hold it out to him. A dying dog will stop actively seeking it however, and his reactions should be respected.
• Loss of movement – Your dog may not want to get up and move. He may stop urinating all together or urinate in place.
• Following you with their eyes – Like tired humans, he may lie on his mat or chosen area and just follow you with his eyes.
• Seeking contact – Unlike cats who like to wander off and find a spot where they can pass in protected solitude, most domesticated dogs seek human touch, contact, and enjoy being with their owner until the time comes and they cross.

When the news of a terminal diagnosis comes, plan on going through all the phases of grieving:

• Anger
• Denial
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

You are, after all, human. You are losing a beloved family member and someone of importance in your life. Be kind to yourself. Your feelings, all your feelings, are valid and you should not hold back.

It is all right to:

• Cry
• Get mad
• Get a second and even third vet's opinion
• Feel overwhelmed and emotionally vulnerable
• Feel scared and feel sad, even intense grief

At some point, there are things you can do to make a difference and to make this terribly difficult experience easier for both you and your dog.

The first thing is to remember that you are feeling these emotions; your dog is not. Whatever you believe, animals are not hard wired to feel regret or rage, or even fear in the case of dying. Animals accept the process because it is the only thing to do; their instincts are wired to do so.

The kindest thing you can do for your pet and for yourself is to acknowledge this and try not to impose your sense of grief and anxiety on your dog. In fact, let your dog lead the way, teaching you with his patience and love how to get through this.

Other things to do:

• With your vet's help, make sure your pet is comfortable and as pain free as possible.

• For your sake and the sake of your family, attend to changing soiled pads and wound care without fuss or harsh words. Your dog cannot help its physical state of being at this time and this is one of the last acts of kindness you can perform for your animal.

• Do talk about your feelings openly with your close friends and your own, human family. Seek grief counseling ahead of your pet's death if you feel you need it. Take breaks and make sure you take care of your needs to stay healthy and strong for your pet. Join an on-line support group for pet owners.

• Get advice from your vet regarding how you should assist your dog. If you plan to euthanize your dog, or if you want nature to take its course, ask your vet what to do, when to do it, and how to approach your best options for the peaceful release of your dog.

• Take time when you are feeling up to it to think about and plan your dog's final resting place. It is not silly or stupid to hold a little memorial service or even have a special marker made for the spot of your choice.

• Allow yourself time with your pet everyday to hold him, stroke and touch him, kiss and take him in your arms or on your lap. Just as you derive comfort from touching your dog, so will your dog derive its greatest comfort from being with the person who means the most to him.

Dying dog behavior is a signal that life is about change in a real, physical way for you. By taking steps, you can give your dog a peaceful end of life and give yourself the greatest comfort in knowing you did everything you could to ease your pet.

In the dying of a pet comes another of life's greatest lessons in how to live with and share with another an end of a life with dignity, love and courage.

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